泰晤士(TIMES)四合院儿

FROM BUZZFEED.COM

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

I tried talking about our future but she just kept bringing up my past. It was a tense conversation.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I was struggling to figure out how lightning works then it struck me.

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.

I used to be a banker but I lost interest

My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.

I don't trust these stairs because they're always up to something.

No one knew she had a dental implant until it came out in a conversation.

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.

The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.

I think Santa has river front property in Brazil. All our presents came from Amazon this year.

Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.