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Source text - English Once upon a time in Australia, a man walking along a beach found an old oil lamp sticking out of the sand. He picked it up, looked around him to make sure nobody was looking and rubbed on it. The next thing - no surprise here - a swirl of air and smoke and suddenly a huge genie is hovering in the air in front of him.
"Thanks mate, you know the story, what's your wish?"
The man does not need much time to think and says to the genie: "Well, you know I always wanted to go to New Zealand, but I am terribly seasick and I can't stand flying - could you build a bridge that connects Australia with New Zealand so I can drive my car there?"
The genie just shakes his head and replies: "Well, I have heard a lot of dumb wishes in this job, but this one really takes the cake. Just imagine the forces of the water and the wind, the amount of concrete and steel and the engineering - no way. Come on, ask for something else."
The man thinks for a while and then says: "Ok, there is another thing. You know, I have been in a couple of relationships, I have been married, but it has never worked out. I just don't get it - my wish is that I understand women."
Says the genie: "...well that bridge, how many lanes do you think it should have?"
Translation - German Es war einmal ein Mann in Australien, der ging am Strand entlang und fand eine alte Öllampe, die aus dem Sand herausragte. Er hob sie auf, drehte sich um, um sicher zu gehen, dass ihn niemand sah und rieb an ihr. Als Nächstes - keine Überraschung - gab es einen Wirbel von Luft und Rauch und plötzlich hing ein gewaltiger Dschinn vor ihm in der Luft.
"Danke Kumpel, du weißt ja Bescheid, was ist dein Wunsch?"
Der Mann muss nicht lange überlegen und sagt zum Dschinn: "Nun, weißt du, ich wollte schon immer einmal nach Neuseeland, aber ich bin fürchterlich seekrank und ich halt's im Flugzeug nicht aus - könntest du eine Brücke bauen, die Australien mit Neuseeland verbindet, so dass ich mit dem Auto hinfahren kann?"
Der Dschinn schüttelt seinen Kopf und antwortet: "Na ja, ich habe ja in diesem Beruf schon einen Haufen bescheuerter Wünsche gehört, aber dieser hier schießt nun wirklich den Vogel ab. Stell dir doch einmal die Kräfte von Wasser und Wind vor, die Mengen von Beton und Stahl, der Ingenieursaufwand - nee, kommt nicht in Frage. Na komm, wünsch dir etwas anderes."
Der Mann überlegt ein Weilchen und sagt: "Ok, es gibt da noch etwas. Weißt du, ich hatte eine Reihe von Beziehungen, ich war verheiratet, aber es hat nie hingehauen. Ich weiß einfach nicht woran es liegt - mein Wunsch ist, dass ich die Frauen verstehe."
Sagt der Dschinn: "... also diese Brücke, wie viele Fahrspuren soll die denn haben?"
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Translation education
Other - National Accreditation Authority for Translators and Interpreters
Experience
Years of experience: 20. Registered at ProZ.com: Sep 2004.
German to English (National Accreditation Authority for Translators and Interpreters, verified) English to German (National Accreditation Authority for Translators and Interpreters, verified)
I offer quality translations of technical documents, such as
operating manuals or product descriptions, as well as websites,
games, marketing material, personal documents, business correspondence and much more.
While my main language direction is English into German, I am also NAATI-accredited to translate from German into English.
As a member of the Australian Institute of Interpreters and Translators (AUSIT), I am bound to a clearly defined code of ethics. This means that I am committed to the highest professional standards in terms of quality and accuracy as well as confidentiality, punctuality and professional conduct.
I love languages, take pride in the quality of my work and am looking forward to hearing from you!
I am a native German freelance translator based in Australia, NAATI-accredited to provide certified translations from German into English and English into German (NAATI No. 53468), experienced, friendly and efficient.
Expertise