Human regulation is to varying degrees either (a) organismic, that is, based on a relatively full and accurate acknowledgment of what is, or (b) "shouldistic," based on the arbitrary imposition of what some controller thinks should or should not be. This applies to intrapsychic regulation, to the regulation of interpersonal relations and to the regulation of social groups.

"There is only one thing that should control: the situation. if you understand the situation you are in and let the situation you are in control our actions, then you learn to cope with life" (F. Perls, 1976, p. 33). Perls explicated the above with an example of driving a car. Instead of a preplanned program, "I want to drive 65 miles per hour," a person cognizant of the situation will drive at different speed at night or differently when in traffic, or still differently when tired, and so on. Here Perls makes it clear that "let the situation control" means regulating through awareness of the contemporary context, including one's wants, rather than through what was thought "should" happen.

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Note added at 1 hr 29 mins (2005-02-02 03:49:06 GMT)
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Gestalt Therapy: An Introduction
... In Gestalt therapy there are no \"shoulds.\" Instead of emphasizing what should
be, Gestalt therapy stresses awareness of what is. What is, is. ...
www.gestalt.org/yontef.htm - 101k - Cached - Similar pages
[ More results from www.gestalt.org ]

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Note added at 1 hr 30 mins (2005-02-02 03:49:49 GMT)
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5. Reglas de oro de la gestalt

* Vive ahora. Preocúpate por el presente en vez de preocuparte por el pasado o el futuro.
* Vive aquí. Trata con lo que está presente en vez de con lo que está ausente. El aquí.
* Deja de imaginar. Experiencia lo real.
* Deja el pensar innecesario. Más bien prueba y ve.
* Expresa en vez de manipular, explicar, justificar o juzgar.
* Entrégate a lo desagradable y doloroso tanto como al placer. No restringas tu darte cuenta. Arriésgate.
* No aceptes otros \"deberías\" que los tuyos. Debeísmo.