Oct 27, 2004 20:08
19 yrs ago
1 viewer *
English term
Ukraine
careful, caring, and perfectionist
Native in: Russian 
, Ukrainian
Works in: English to Russian, Russian to English, Ukrainian to English, and 1 more.
avoiding repetition
English
Science
Science (general)
Dear native speakers, please help me to rearrange the sentence below to eliminate the repetition.
The initial imperfections [of a solid body] widen the dynamic instability domain, axisymmetric imperfections widening it to a greater extent than nonaxisymmetric imperfections.
Thanks for your help
The initial imperfections [of a solid body] widen the dynamic instability domain, axisymmetric imperfections widening it to a greater extent than nonaxisymmetric imperfections.
Thanks for your help
Responses
| 4 +6 | use "do" |
Margaret Schroeder
|
| 3 +1 | imho |
Konstantin Kisin
|
| 3 +1 | rephrasing |
J. Leo (X)
|
| 4 | alternative suggestions |
Roddy Stegemann
|
Responses
+6
16 mins
Margaret Schroeder
Mexico
Mexico
Native in English
&
English
Specializes in field
Mexico
The right words in the right place.
Native in: English (Variants: US, Canadian) 
Works in: Spanish to English, English
Related KudoZ points
:
8
Selected
use "do"
English has greater tolerance for repetition than some other languages which seek to avoid it at all costs. In your sentence, I do not think the repetition sounds bad, however you can avoid it in the following way (at the expense of a certain amount of clarity):
The initial imperfections [of a solid body] widen the dynamic instability domain, axisymmetric imperfections doing so to a greater extent than nonaxisymmetric imperfections.
The initial imperfections [of a solid body] widen the dynamic instability domain, axisymmetric imperfections doing so to a greater extent than nonaxisymmetric imperfections.
4 KudoZ points awarded for this answer.
Comment: "Thanks, everybody!"
+1
11 mins
Konstantin Kisin
United Kingdom
United Kingdom
Native in English
&
English
United Kingdom
Bilingual Finance, Law & Business Pro
Native in: English , Russian
Works in: Russian to English, English, English to Russian
imho
this doesn't seem to be literature...therefore repetitions are OK, they are even necessary imho
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Note added at 21 mins (2004-10-27 20:29:29 GMT)
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imho, since this is science, you would actually be wrong to describe imperfections/widening in different ways.
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Note added at 21 mins (2004-10-27 20:29:29 GMT)
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imho, since this is science, you would actually be wrong to describe imperfections/widening in different ways.
+1
1 hr
rephrasing
The initial imperfections, those axisymmetric to a greater extent than nonaxisymmetric ones [of a solid body], widen the dynamic instability domain.
Axisymmetric imperfections, to a greater extent than nonaxisymmetric imperfections, widen the dynamic instability domain of a solid body.
Axisymmetric imperfections, to a greater extent than nonaxisymmetric imperfections, widen the dynamic instability domain of a solid body.
3 hrs
Roddy Stegemann
United States
United States
Native in English
&
English
United States
Search HKLNA!
Native in: English
Works in: German to English, Japanese to English, French to English, and 3 more.
Related KudoZ points
:
4
alternative suggestions
With the assumption that only axissymmetric and nonaxisymmetric imperfections are in question here, you may wish to consider the following rewrite:
"Initial axisymmetric imperfections of a solid body widen a body's dynamic instability domain more than do nonaxisymmetric ones."
If other initial imperfections are also in question, and the author only wishes to emphasize that axis- and nonaxisymetry play an important role, then please consider the following:
"The initial imperfections of a solid body widen the dynamic instability domain; axisymmetric imperfections widen the domain to a greater extent than do nonaxisymmetric ones."
I do not know what other languages Goodwords had in mind when he/she commented that English is more tolerant of repetion. Certainly I try to avoid it wherever possible when writing English. On the other hand, Konstantin's comment about repetitiveness in science, and law as well I might add, is well received, as both areas place greater emphasis on precision, than they do on readability and style.
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Note added at 3 hrs 42 mins (2004-10-27 23:51:04 GMT)
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Disclaimer: My full use of this and other forums has been restricted for reasons unknown, so please forgive my lack of direct support for answers offered by other contributors and critical assessment of non-contributors who are misleading and/or abusive.
"Initial axisymmetric imperfections of a solid body widen a body's dynamic instability domain more than do nonaxisymmetric ones."
If other initial imperfections are also in question, and the author only wishes to emphasize that axis- and nonaxisymetry play an important role, then please consider the following:
"The initial imperfections of a solid body widen the dynamic instability domain; axisymmetric imperfections widen the domain to a greater extent than do nonaxisymmetric ones."
I do not know what other languages Goodwords had in mind when he/she commented that English is more tolerant of repetion. Certainly I try to avoid it wherever possible when writing English. On the other hand, Konstantin's comment about repetitiveness in science, and law as well I might add, is well received, as both areas place greater emphasis on precision, than they do on readability and style.
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Note added at 3 hrs 42 mins (2004-10-27 23:51:04 GMT)
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Disclaimer: My full use of this and other forums has been restricted for reasons unknown, so please forgive my lack of direct support for answers offered by other contributors and critical assessment of non-contributors who are misleading and/or abusive.
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